You know about GOG.com, right? It’s a digital download service for PC and Mac games that does one thing Steam and the Mac App Store don’t do; it blows your mind with its collection of Mac OS Classic games, most of which are sold at ridiculously low prices. Well…low compared to what I paid for them in the ’90s.
These aren’t old games updated for new devices, mind you. Most are presented for OS X in their original pixelated glory, so you’re going to need to accept them for what they are. No, not accept them…celebrate them! For these are the games that kept the Macintosh alive during the dark, dark ’90s until Aspyr showed up with Tomb Raider II and made us legitimate again.
Games such as:
Castles 1+2 – $5.99
Man, I lost so much time on Castles 2: Siege and Conquest back in the day. It was probably the first strategy game I really got into, as its blend of real-time battles and turn-based strategy was captivating. You can design your castles to populate and defend, or you can go with 10 actual historical castles.
Look at that castle. Awesome. Top it all of off with plenty of medieval intrigue, and you’ve got a game that may look dated, but plays about as well as most strategy games available today.
Added bonus? You get the 30 minutes of BBC video footage that came with the original game. Here’s your chance to learn what a garderobe is for. And you’ll need it for the toilet humor of…
Leisure Suit Larry – $9.99
Leisure Suit Larry was my Grand Theft Auto. My Call of Duty. I can’t recall the number of college assignments I blew off—study time I messed—because of these games, and I probably won’t want to. My mom and dad may read this and demand all that college money back.
In this classic series of adventure games, you play our hapless hero, Larry Laffer. He just wants to
get lucky find love, and the adventures he ends up in along the way offer some the most hilarious moments in video game history. That’s not an exaggeration, these games are laugh-out-loud funny, provided your comedic tastes border on tawdry. Plenty of innuendo here, but it’s hard to get too worked up over pixels this large.
This $10 package gets you five complete Leisure Suit Larry Games, hint books, avatars, a postcard…everything you need to blow off your studies long enough to require a change in major next year. But no worries…you didn’t want to be a pharmacist, anyway. You really just wanted to go…
Postal: Classic and Uncut – $5.99
This series became a horrible mess, then became a horrible movie. But at its birth, it was just a violent little game that was banned more for its title than its content. These days, I think it’d be banned for that bit where you blow up an entire marching band.
In Postal, you’re the bad guy. Not an anti-hero, the bad guy. You’re insane. No real reason why, you just flip out and start attacking the town with far too many weapons that are far too easy to acquire. The police are trying to put you down, and it’s up to you kill enough of the population to advance to the next level before you’re killed. Violent? Absolutely. Disturbing? Very much. But the Postal games would eventually involve urination and Gary Coleman, so this is much more palatable.
Enjoy these for a while; we’ll be back with more recommendations soon. Right now, I need to remember how to get that libbed lubber.