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Pornographic games on the iPhone: a workaround

Sections: iPhone, iPhone OS, SDK and hacks, iPhone/iPod touch/iPad, iPod, iPod touch, Originals

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ladylover warning screen
With Apple’s famously restrictive and irregularly enforced standards of morality for iPhone applications, I’m surprised it’s taken this long for the makers of “adult” games to realize what everyone else knows: you can easily get porn on the iPhone by using Safari. True, you can’t use Flash in Safari, but one plucky startup hasn’t let that deter them from creating a game where you pay to stimulate cartoon women by rubbing your finger furiously along a touch screen. For points.

And that’s exactly what happens in The End of Western Civilization As We Know It Lady Lover: Heavy Petting by Dr. Digs. For $1.99 a go, you can attempt to stimulate a cartoon woman rubbing parts of her body. The “game” part is in knowing where, when, and how quickly to rub; you generate points by doing it correctly, do it wrong and the girl loses the “mood” and you have to start over. And because you’ll want the world to know well you did at this, the girls will automatically send the results to their Twitter feed. You also get two replays to try and improve your score. In case, you know, you think you can do a better job at stimulating a cartoon.

What was that line from War Games? Ah, yes.

The interesting bit about this is that it’s a proof-of-concept of how developers could get a money-making venture on the iPhone without submitting it to Apple. While Apple may not adapt Flash for Safari for technical reasons, they can’t restrict access to websites simply because they don’t like them. And while the game isn’t the most complex in the world, neither are most of the addictive time wasters I enjoy playing. Something like Cubit for example, would work perfectly as a web game.

The problem, of course, is getting people to pay for the program. With the app store, you’re at least getting a download that can be backed up, but paying for web site access is only as good as long as the site exists. Porn has turned a disadvantage around here: you can’t get it on the App Store, so you have to buy it directly from the makers. But what this really underlines is the central problem of the App Store: Apple is selling a device that gives access to the web, but is trying to keep its hands clean of the unseemlier elements of the internet. But as long as the iPhone has a web browser, those things are going to be there—and sometimes take advantage of the iPhone interface whether Apple likes it or not.

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2 Comments

  1. i like :-)

    thino
  2. another example: http://sexandglory.com

    John Silver