After watching the brand new red-band trailer for the upcoming “Evil Dead” remake, I immediately watched it again, then again, then freeze-framed it at certain points so I could study the still shots in all their visceral, gory nastiness. Then I watched it again.
What’s so wrong, you say, with watching a trailer for a horror movie over and over? Well, give it a look yourself and see how easy it is to sit through the two-minute barrage of intense, bloody and disturbing imagery once – let alone four times in ten minutes.
Okay, I’ll give you a few minutes before you get back to the article to check it out…
Now do you see what I mean?
Seriously, a full-length Clive Barker film has less blood and guts in it than the crimson-soaked minutes of this trailer and, truthfully, I couldn’t be more excited. I honestly feel like I’m ten-years old again and I just saw a toy commercial for some G.I. Joe battle vehicle. If you’re a product of the eighties the you know what I’m talking about. One of those cheesy commercials that showed smiling children playing with either the showcased hovercraft or helicopter, strategically placed next to an elaborately-crafted set piece, complete with cascading waterfalls and realistic jungle trees. It looked like the greatest thing ever made.
I just hope that this trailer – which looks like the greatest thing ever made part 2 - doesn’t get my hopes up and knock me back on my ass with disappointment like those lying bastards who made those toy commercials. My hovercraft never came with any waterfalls or trees. I even held the box upside-down and shook it repeatedly, just in case.
I especially love the way that first-time director Fede Alvarez has apparently handled the tone of the flick. It looks pretty creepy and is probably scary, too. It looks as if it’s going to be more like Sam Raimi’s “The Evil Dead” than “Evil Dead 2” and/or “Army of Darkness“ - if you’re pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down.
That’s not to say that some parts of the trailer don’t have the slightest hint of a sense of humor, albeit in a completely sadistic way. It’s sort of like how you suspect Dick Cheney would tell a joke – somewhat humorous, but riddled with uneasiness.
The dark humor here is not surprising, considering the fact that, in addition to Alvarez and Raimi (who wrote and directed the original trilogy), the film is also written by everybody’s favorite stripper-turned-Academy Award winner, Diablo Cody.
Although her Oscar nod came in 2008 for her screenplay for the dramedy “Juno,” Cody is no stranger to the tongue-in-cheek, horror-meets-humor genre as she was responsible for the supremely underrated “Jennifer’s Body.” Another underlying theme in most of Cody’s work involves the growth and hardships that women experience, both at the teenage and adult level. This theme seemingly shows up in “Evil Dead” also, as Mia’s character is apparently an addict that’s going through tough times and seeks solace in the infamous “cabin in the woods.”
The first scene follows the transformation/mutilation of Mia’s initially-intact tongue, to which she takes a sharp blade, licks it like a silver popsicle and now it’s Mia’s “forked” tongue. Finally, Mia pulls it all together by planting a big, wet, bloody smoocheroo on the kisser of a horrified female onlooker.
Gross, but awesome.
The second moment is the recreation of that iconic Evil Dead scene with that witchy, monster face (again) of Mia peering from the slightly open crack in the chained-up, cellar floor hatch. I loved it. Levy even manages to make Mia sound completely nutso, as she sings the “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you”-esque kiddie rhyme, “We’re gonna’ get youuuu, not another pee-eep, time to go to SLEEP…”
How awesome is that?
The movie comes out on April 12 and stars Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci and Jessica Lucas. Raimi receives screenwriting and production credits – as the film company Ghost House Pictures is putting it out. The original star of all three of Raimi’s initial Evil Dead trilogy, Bruce Campbell, also receives a production credit, as well. In addition, legions of Ash fans are keeping their fingers crossed (only on one hand, though – it’s hard to cross your fingers when you have a chainsaw for a hand) with high hopes that he makes a triumphant return to the franchise with some sort of cameo in the film.
If anybody happens to have seen the promotional poster while they’re at the movies this holiday season, they’ll see the bold statement that the makers of the film promise. The tagline reads, “The most terrifying film you’ll ever experience.”
Is there something wrong with me in that I hope they’re right?