The Razzies: Who the Hell Cares?

Sections: Award Shows

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Nominations for the Academy Awards will be announced Thursday morning. That means it’s time for the faux shock and awe of the Razzies, the annual salute to the year’s bad movies.

Nominations for this dubious awards, officially known as The Golden Raspberry Awards, are out now. If you want to see a list of who’s up for this esteemed prize, click here. Let’s just say there’s a lot of “Twilight: Breaking Dawn–Part 2″ and “Battleship.”

That’s why the Razzies don’t interest me: voters appear to rely solely on hearsay and tradition. Put Adam Sandler on the ballot. He’s sucked for years! “The Oogieloves” was a box-office disaster, put it on the list! Brooklyn Decker is a model so she’s a terrible actress! (P.S.: She was actually decent in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”) Any devout user of Rotten Tomatoes, without seeing a single one of these movies, could have put these nominations together.

Here’s the thing: Most of these movies come from talent with permanently lowered expectations, so moviegoers either avoided this stuff like a three-day-old seafood buffet (“That’s My Boy,” “A Thousand Words”) or didn’t care about the criticism (“Twilight.”) Truly bad movies aren’t just bad, they offend us grandly. Look at what 2012 offered: the puddle-deep nostalgia of “Rock of Ages” and “Not Fade Away;” Tom Hooper’s orphaned kittens crying blood approach to “Les Miserables”; David O. Russell, who I think is a robot, lovingly portraying the middle class as “dem, dese, dose” morons in “Silver Linings Playbook,” the “modern times are evil” machismo of “Trouble With the Curve,” where Clint Eastwood snarls at anyone without an AARP card.

And I haven’t even touched upon “The Words,” “Bully,” and “Darling Companion.” 

There is a whole world of awfulness out there. It’s too bad voters for the Razzies think it’s flat.

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