1.) “Identity Thief,” $14.1M. Closing in on $100 million. You know what just passed $100 million? “Silver Linings Playbook.” My aggravation over the Oscars in general (I’m writing this Sunday night) coupled with my hatred for David O. Russell’s patronizing, “whatsa matta you?” examination of troubled adults is making me extra grumpy.
2.) “Snitch,” $13M. Not to be confused with “Snatch” or “Snick” (for you Nickelodeon fans out there) or Snickers (the candy bar that’s packed with peanuts and, from what I’ve heard, really satisfies) or “Sneakers.” Honestly, Dwayne Johnson’s latest has gotten some positive reviews. I thought this would place higher. Please don’t revoke my movie industry insider credentials, Internet!
3.) “Escape from Planet Earth,” $11M. Since I have absolutely nothing to write about this animated feature, here’s what it will take me to take the Academy Awards seriously: In every category, nominate five entries for movies released from January 1st to June 3oth. Then, nominate five entries in every category for movies released from July 1st to December 31st. Then the ten nominees battle it out in the lavish ceremony.
Right now the Academy Awards are based on timing more than anything else. Look at the nine Best Picture nominees. By my count, seven were released after November. Seven! This loaded schedule isn’t fair to anyone. Good films get forgotten about because they have the misfortune of being released in March or July or because everyone equates fall as the time for quality films. This happens every year. It has to stop.
Terrific movies did come out before November: “Bernie,” “Magic Mike,” “Moonrise Kingdom,” “Killer Joe,” “Ruby Sparks,” “Compliance,” “21 Jump Street,” etc. And, no, I don’t count “Beasts of the Southern Wild” or “Argo.” Sorry.
4.) “Safe Haven,” $10.6M. The wedding photo industry owes a large debt to Nicholas Sparks. Every engagement announcement I’ve ever seen could double as stills from one of his cinematic adaptations.