Bravo, the TV network that once upon a time showed operas, is poised to unleash 17 new quality “reality TV” programs on the American public this year. EntertainmentTell has confirmed that none of them involve operas.
So what do these new series involve?
* A bunch of young hotties who live and love (and “work”) on a yacht.
* Young people in New York City willing to resort to questionable tactics in order to become power players in their fields.
* A young woman on the Dallas social scene who wants to get into the fashion industry. The show is described using all kinds of hokey cowboy metaphors.
* A lady who helps divorcing couples decide who gets to keep which of their common possessions. I can’t wait to see who gets the Magic Bullet. Talk about an heirloom!
* Women trying to live and love in what is described as the male-dominated LA restaurant industry.
* Two separate households with radically different approaches to parenting. Spoiler alert: Kids can be real brats no matter how you parent them.
* Three fashionistas babbling about… fashion.
* A talent contest hosted by one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
* Four newlywed couples dealing with being four newlywed couples.
* “Property experts” who show you luxury real estate so you can drool and/or feel inadequate.
* High-society types in aristocratic Charleston, South Carolina being all, “Ew, common folk not welcome.”
* Ambitious young people working and playing in Atlanta.
* Ambitious young people working and playing in Chicago.
* A former pro basketball player-turned-minister and his family getting richer and, yet, somehow holier.
* Two female fitness entrepreneurs and their maniacal efforts to grow their brand. And they’ll use “street smarts, not book smarts” to do so. As we all know, book-learnin’ is for losers and elitists. Amurrka!
* London-based ultra-rich socialites with a twist: Some of them are British, and some of them are American. Rich people culture clash!
* Six spoiled-rotten young women from Long Island.
Get a whole bunch more detail at Deadline.com. I’ll be washing my brain with soap and trying to forget the horrors I’ve seen.