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Ronde Barber Retires, Eyes TV Career; Probably Ignoring Tiki’s Advice

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Ronde BarberRonde Barber, the longtime standout corner for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, retired from professional football Thursday but promised that he would not be out of the public eye for too long.

Yup, television is in the future. According to Pro Football Talk:

“I’m not ready to say what I’m doing or where I’m going,” Barber said. “But, yes, I’ll be somewhere. Me and my manager have had a plan for a lot of years, met with guys in the offseason for the past three or four years. You’ve seen my mug on TV. I enjoy doing it. You’ll know soon enough.”

Let’s hope Ronde’s post-playing career is better plotted than that of his twin brother, Tiki. Here are some highlights from Tiki’s post-retirement playbook, which was probably written in crayon.

1.) Leave your team at the height of your powers, only to watch them win the Super Bowl the very next year.

2.) Embark on a television career where you display the kind of shrill earnestness that belongs to the high school brown-noser.

3.) Leave your pregnant (with twins) wife for a 23 year old NBC intern. Bonus points if you get re-married a mere eight days after your divorce is finalized.

4.) Attempt a comeback only to discover that NFL teams — gasp! — don’t want the services of a 36 year old running back who last played when George W. Bush was in office.

5.) Form a company where misguided schlubs pay a king’s ransom to have retired athletes pretend they want to spend time with them.

Good luck, Ronde. Avoid the tabloids — and the interns.

 

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