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“Grown Ups 2″ and the Pissing Deer: A Critical Consensus Emerges

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Nick Swardson and the gang in "Grown Ups 2"

Hey, where’d the deer go?

(Note: The following contains significant spoilers for the opening scene of “Grown Ups 2″:) 

I did not see “Grown Ups 2″ and chances are I’ll make it to my grave without ever having done so. I’m eternally grateful to my colleague Shawn Kotzen for covering it for us, because, as Dustin Rowles pointed out in a great, great roundup, that movie contains a multitudes of things that no one who saw them will ever be able to unsee.

But in reading reviews of the movie- some of the year’s most entertaining- I noticed a whole lot of critics used a similar lede:

Like Ignatiy Vishnevetsky of the AV Club: 

Grown Ups 2 opens with a CGI deer invading Adam Sandler’s bedroom, standing up on its hind legs, and pissing in his face; it ends with Sandler simultaneously farting, sneezing, and burping while having sex with Salma Hayek

 And Sean Burns of Metro: 

Before the opening credits of “Grown Ups 2,” the witless sequel to Adam Sandler’s 2010 blockbuster exercise in indolence, a large, laughably unconvincing CGI deer urinates in the star’s face. Tragically, this is about as clever as it gets.

And Gary Thompson of the Philadelphia Daily News: 

“GROWN UPS 2″ opens with a deer urinating on Adam Sandler. The less sophisticated jokes come later.

And Marsha McCreadle of Rogerbert.com: 

If you chortle at a deer trapped in a house, flaunting a hot pink bra on its antler (C-cup, an observer admires), and urinating copiously, you’re the right person for “Grown Ups 2.”

And Jay Stone of Postmedia News: 

In the opening scene of Adam Sandler’s new comedy, Grown Ups 2, a deer breaks into the suburban house of Lenny (Sandler) while he’s in bed with his wife Roxanne, played by Salma Hayek. The deer is a persuasive special effect that unleashes an authentic-looking stream of pee into Sandler’s face.

And Jim Dooley of Big Picture Big Sound: 

“Grown Ups 2″ opens with Lenny Feder (Adam Sandler) waking up and looking contentedly at his wife Roxanne (Salma Hayek) still sleeping next to him. He then turns over and is facing a full grown deer, eating from a bowl on his nightstand. He tries to coax Roxanne to awake and open the window, but, when she sees the deer, she screams. The deer rears on its hind legs and pees in Lenny’s face. “Grown Ups 2″ doesn’t get any better than a face full of piss.

And Tom O’Keefe of ReviewSTL: 

The opening joke of Grown Ups 2 (not opening scene mind you but opening joke) features a deer pissing in Adam Sandler‘s face.  I envy that deer.

And Nick Venable of Cinemablend (headline): 

Grown Ups 2 Trailer: A Deer Pees In Adam Sandler’s Face, And It Gets Worse From There

And Mark Olson of the Los Angeles Times: 

It is just a few minutes into “Grown Ups 2″ when star Adam Sandler is peed on in the face by a deer. How one feels about that — is it funny, is it cheap, is it a weird curiosity? — will likely be an accurate litmus test for responses to the rest of the film.

 

And Pete McQuaid of the Lowell Sun: 

Grown Ups 2 opens with a lovely scene of a deer standing in Adam Sandler’s bedroom and proceeding to rear back on its hind legs and urinate all over him. He then gallops through the upstairs hallway and pees on a couple other unfortunate members of Sandler’s family. When they all run downstairs less than a minute later, somehow they’re perfectly dry.

And Mal Vincent of the Virginian-Pilot: 

The first scene of “Grown Ups 2″ has an antlered deer in the bedroom of a sleeping Adam Sandler and Salma Hayek. Naturally, the bewildered deer releases bodily fluids while being chased around the house until it finally escapes to the front yard – with a bra on its antlers.

I credit these critics, some of whom are my very favorites, for finding different ways to say that “Grown Ups 2″ begins with a deer pissing on Adam Sandler, and that it only gets worse from there.

And you thought South Park was exaggerating:

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