The New Kids’ ‘Rock This Boat’ trailer is here, and it’s horrifying

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Musical acts doing fan-oriented cruises is a trend that’s been going pretty strong for a few years now, there was the Bruise Cruise from a few years back with a line up of amazing bands like F*cked Up, King Khan and the Shrines, Mikal Cronin, and others,New Kids On The Block, 98 Degrees And Boyz II Men In Concert - Rosemont, IL as well as cruises from (to put it mildly) somewhat less interesting acts like Sugar Ray, Kid Rock, Weezer, and the Oak Ridge Boys.

The central idea is to take a music festival, complete with opening acts and whatnot, and plunk it down in the middle of the ocean, presumably in international waters where no law enforcement will ever reach you in time. 90s boy band New Kids on the Block jumped on the festival cruise circuit last year, and the results were documented by TVGN for the new series “Rock this Boat: New Kids on the Block.” And the trailer is…well, see for yourself:

The show’s tagline states that the cruise consisted of “2500 fans,” although according to theWrap, there were some wild cards thrown in, like “ a man whose fiancée brought him and her bridesmaids on the cruise hoping she will be married by Donnie Wahlberg,” and “[a] group of kilt-wearing Scotsmen are just happy to be on a boat with thousands of women.” So yeah, it’s that kind of show. And if the trailer is any indication, the majority of the 2500 fans who will essentially trap the objects of their collective obsession in the middle of the ocean are going to provide viewers with some “Trekkies” level schadenfreude. Highlights of the trailer include:

* A fan in an opening voiceover ominously intoning “We’re gonna be on a boat with them.”

* A fan sniffing what I really hope is a shirt, saying “I can smell that Donny scent!”

* A fan addressing an unknown New Kid saying “I want to marry you but don’t think I’m like a creep or something!”

We live in a pop culture landscape that’s now dominated by obsessive fandoms monastically devoted to the things they love and express it primarily through Tumblrs, so it’s probably a step in the right direction that these fandoms can gather in a place where they can communicate without using gifs. And we know nothing bad happened, since there were never any reports that surfaced last year of someone walking off a cruise ship wearing a Donnie Wahlberg skin mask.


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