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The 5 stages of Lana Del Rey appreciation

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Can you tell I’m having a Lana Del Rey month? I can’t stop listening to her new album, Ultraviolence, and my friend Eileen just sent me a video from my senior year of college featuring my friend and I singing “Videogames” to each other. So, you could say I’m feeling both sentimental for old Lana and excited for new Lana.

Too many emotions!

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As I mentioned in my Ultraviolence album review, I didn’t exactly understand Lana Del Rey when she first entered into the music scene. Her music was lost on me, and there were too many odd details surrounding her success. I guess I was jaded. Now, I am a converted fan under the spell of Lana magic and I find myself wondering how I got to this point. The more I think about it, the more I realize there’s a process to Lana Del Rey appreciation.

So, grab some Diet Mountain Dew and peruse the 5 stages of Lana Del Rey appreciation. Note that as of now, there is no known cure.

 

1) Denial:

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Similar to the stages of grief, Lana Del Rey appreciation begins at the same origin point. Perhaps you caught her Saturday Night Live performance way back when or maybe you heard “Summertime Sadness” way too many times at the bar. Either way, you don’t get the appeal and frankly, you think her music sucks. Like, does she have to pronounce “Vitamin” that way on her song, “Radio?” GET A GRIP, LADY!

But that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel this way. And it certainly doesn’t help that she says the weirdest things in interviews like how she wishes she were dead. Plus, she cries on stage sometimes. You’re not even sure she’s a real person. Yet.

2) Curiosity:

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None of us like to feel left out, so when your friend starts going on and on about Lana Del Rey’s new single, you want to be a part of the conversation. You fake your way through a simple dialogue. Something like, “yeah, I love her lyrics,” but really, you go home that night and listen for the first time. For me, it was “Blue Jeans” from Born to Die. That song changed my life. Anyways, you begin your ascent on the Lana Del Rey flight, and at this point you’re already in deep. You listen to all her albums, watch all her interviews, read her whole wikipedia page, and you begin to understand the enigma that is Lana Del Rey.

3) Empathy:

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You’ve been listening to Lana Del Rey for a couple days now, and then it just hits you. First, you understand Lana, but then you come to realize that Lana understands you. Relationships, breakups, dependency, maybe even depression – the girl knows what she’s talking about. I was listening to “National Anthem” and as I was singing along, I realized, “YES! I want a guy to tell me I’m his national anthem.” And then I was horrified with my inner thoughts. But she’s right. At this point, you’re in too deep. Your minds are one. And “Ride?” Oh em gee. That song is spot on. It’s like she’s IN my mind. I’m afraid there’s no turning back now, so keep pushing forward.

4) Imitation:

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Once you realize Lana knows what she’s talking about, you begin to incorporate some of her mantras into your daily life. You look for the glamour in everyday things, you have sad thinking sessions at the beach, and maybe you put your hair in curlers every so often. I’m not saying you try to become her, but maybe you emulate her a little bit. There’s no need to call the cops yet, Lana. Questions like, “What Instagram filter would Lana use?” or “Would Lana wear this sequin top to the club tonight?” Either way, you’re headed straight to stage 5 like a bat out of hell.

5) Obsession:

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And here we are. You are Lana obsessed. “Diet Mountain Dew” is your ringtone and every time “West Coast” comes on at the bar, you proclaim it “your song” (Not that I know from experience or anything). Your friends try to sell you on a new female musician to obsess over, but you refuse to stray from Lana. You find yourself getting into debates about how Lana makes sad look sexy, and you defend her when people say she sucks. Eventually, this obsession will lessen over time, but you’re pretty much a committed fan girl at this point. Embrace it. But don’t go getting a tattoo, or stalking her or anything.

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  • soloveitchikblue

    I can relate and I’m a guy!!

  • elizabeth

    Why don’t you want me to get tattoos like hers?