Rob Zombie to Crowdfund His Day-Glo Vomit, Killer Clown Epic Thing

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Is there a motif that’s more hacky and overused than the sinister clown? I really can’t think of one. The evil, Screen-Shot-2014-05-16-at-1_02_13-PMmurderous clown is basically the horror movie equivalent to the sight of the elderly swearing or giving people the finger in comedies. It’s not shocking, it’s not scary and yet thanks to Rob Zombie – the Hot Topic closeout rack that walks like a man – this very tired concept refuses to lie down and die.

According to the AV Club, Rob Zombie’s latest project, a film called “31”, revolves around a group of killer clowns who traipse about a place called Murder World where they terrorize and presumably murder the unlucky guests. Zombie has promised that the film will be “gritty, disgusting and violent” and filled with tattoos and clips of “The Munsters” and white-boy dreadlocks and other things that seemed sort of edgy and wild in the mid-90s.

Of course, like all highly desired and hotly anticipated projects (such as Zach Braff’s “Wish I Was Here” and whatever that thing Katherine Heigl was trying to get off the ground), Zombie has decided to bankroll “31” through crowdfunding. So what do you, the Rob Zombie fan at home, get if you contribute to this very worthy project? Well, for a mere $300, Zombie will follow you on Twitter (I guess for an extra $200, he’ll friend you on facebook, like a status update of your choosing and then immediately unfriend you)!

For just $2,500 you can own one of Zombie’s hella-badass clown paintings! I should note, however, that I haven’t checked out all of the premiums yet. Hopefully there are better rewards. If you pledge 20 grand, will Zombie come to your house, apologize for “Lords of Salem” and rip one of his gross, bong water drenched dreads out of his head as an act of attrition? If you pledge 10 million dollars will he promise not to make “31”? Let me know if Zombie is offering these rewards to the public because those are the kind of premiums that we as a nation should all chip in on.

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