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Brad Bird Not On Board For New ‘Star Wars’

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Brad Bird - courtesy of Variety

Brad Bird looking “Up” – but not towards the “Stars.”

Brad Bird, best known in the film industry for his masterful direction on such epic, science-fiction extravaganzas as “Ratatouille” and “The Incredibles,” is officially taking his name out of the running for the long-awaited, upcoming “Star Wars” sequel/prequel/reboot.

Bird, who recently showed he can also handle actual, flesh-and-blood actors with “Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol,” seemed like an inspired choice to tackle the seventh installment of the space western-turned- Saturday morning cartoon.

According to his Twitter account, Bird is simply: “Not doing Star Wars.” This led to the celebrated animator’s name being simultaneously scratched -off the “Dream Director List” of millions of disappointed “Star Wars” fans – which ultimately resulted in an as-of-yet unconfirmed “disturbance in the force.”

However, Bird did divulge that he will be taking a stab at the sci-fi/fantasy genre with his next project, cryptically entitled “1952″ a film that sounds like it might be great – with Damon Lindelof writing the script – and at the same time not-so-great  - with Disney providing the studio funds.

According to one of the “official” Star Wars fansites, www.theforce.net, Bird was one of the dozens of names that fans were clamoring for to kick the tires and take the Millennium Falcon for a spin. However, this “fantasy list” includes almost every director that’s picked up a camera in the last thirty years. Among the directors that have taken themselves off of said list are Quentin Tarantino, Zach Snyder, Steven Spielberg and JJ Abrams – with Tarantino basically telling Entertainment Weekly that if Disney’s going to do it, then count him out.

Is it Boba Lightyear or Buzz Fett? courtesy of Team Coco on www.hiconsumption.com

The biggest fear for hardcore Star Wars fans comes to life…

There’s that word again – Disney. My personal belief is that eventually, the word “Disney” will bring up the same nasty feelings that Jar Jar Binks or the Ewoks do – that of utter contempt. Jedis around the world rejoiced at the thought of a new film; one with a release date around 2015. Alas, the dream of a “Star Wars for Big Boys” died just a little when “Toy Story 3″ scribe (and according to Bird, “fantastic writer”) Michael Arndt was announced as the screenwriter for Episode Seven.

Let the Buzz Lightyear cameo speculation begin.

It’s almost as if hardcore, lightsaber-wielding “Star Wars” fans will be given a brand new car in 2015; one that has the same name and design as their old vehicle. See, they’ve been told that this will be a newer, supposedly-improved model. However, when they open the doors, the interior is pink and turquoise, smells like cotton candy, and made out of used, stuffed animal parts. “This isn’t the car we wanted or the car we’re used to,” they clamor.

Finally, they settle down in the back seat – unhappy with the inept team of hired drivers, yet satiated and rendered numb by the state-of-the-art, drool-inducing, Skywalker Sound stereo system. “At least, we got a car,” they mumble, “We could have gotten no car at all.”

Or maybe, just maybe, they’ll get that Millennium Falcon that they’ve been promised all these years. Everything depends on the driver – I mean the pilot – I mean the director.

This much is true. Whatever you choose to call the position, it won’t be filled by Brad Bird.

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  1. Pingback: Now that Brad Bird Is Out, What Disney Vets Could Direct ‘Star Wars Episode VII’?† – New York Post | Mouse House Online