People have been clamoring for a “Dislike” button on Facebook since the dawn of time. With the recent rumors of the development of a “Sympathize” button, there’s the chance that it’ll appear as “thumbs down”.. and then the Facebook community might do what it does best: adapt the “sympathize” button to fit its “dislike” desires.
Anyway, we got to thinking about some other buttons that would be cool additions to the increasingly uncool service.
“Ugggggkkkkhhhh” button. This would be for posts that gross you out, such as pictures of people sucking face or posts about how Obama is the Kenyan antichrist. Appearance: The Facebook hand throwing up on itself.
“Aw” button. A close cousin of the stalwart “Like,” the “Aw” button would be specifically and exclusively for cute photos of cats and babies. Appearance: Happy anime version of the Facebook hand.
“Step off” button. Increasingly can’t stand someone who keeps posting to your wall or commenting on your posts? Let ‘em know in no uncertain terms with the “Step off” button. Appearance: The Facebook hand showing itself to you.
“Humblebrag” button. Tired of someone’s false modesty while boasting about how awesome they are? Shame them properly with the “Humblebrag” button. Appearance: The Facebook hand rolling its googly eyes.
“Selfie overload” button. Got a vain friend who loves to post pictures of himself or herself? Click on “Selfie overload.” Appearance: The Facebook hand shooting itself.
“The instigator” button. This badge of honor goes to cranks who regularly pick fights with you and your other friends just for the sport of it. Appearance: The Facebook hand sitting in a hockey penalty box.
“I’m so awesome” button. For the unbearable narcissist in all of us, this button will allow you to self-congratulate yourself. Appearance: Not fit for family consumption.
“Should we talk about the weather? Bye. Bye.” button. Snowy days, rainy days, hot days, cold days, windy days… they have a way of cluttering up our feeds. Press this Michael Stipe-inspired button and your Facebook account completely shuts down until the weather gets more normal. Appearance: The Facebook hand throwing an umbrella at the Twitter bird.
“Oh Dad” button. Also available in “Oh Mom” and “Ew, Creepy Uncle” permutations, this button is for when your relative clearly doesn’t understand what they’re putting out there. Appearance: A clearly embarrassed Facebook hand blushing.
“I Hate Your Taste in Music” button. This one would be popular with my friends. Appearance: The Facebook hand viciously smashing a guitar.
Got any other ideas for Facebook buttons? Share them in the comments!