Alright, I know that sounds bad but hear me out! It could be worse…I could be advising you to have a baby just to get Amazon discounts, and that’s not the case. So what exactly am I talking about? Good question, pensive reader!
Amazon has a program entitled Amazon Mom that helps parents save money on common household items. Slate writer Matthew Yglesias exposed a loophole. And what kind of normal person would I be if I didn’t exploit the loophole for my own personal gain? In order to join the Amazon Mom program, you are supposed to have a child. However, there’s not a whole lot of verification needed so you could easily pretend you have a baby. Mine will be named Batman Cornelius The Third. I called it first!
Here’s how it works. If you’re a member of Amazon prime, you might know about the Subscribe & Save feature which earns you a 15 percent discount on items that you subscribe to on a regular schedule. But if you want to up those savings, the Amazon Mom program saves members 20 percent on those subscriptions. To join, you just need to tell Amazon some information about your “baby.” For example, Batman Cornelius The Third was born on November 15 and he loves watching Cats the Musical on repeat. He’s a bit of a weirdo.
I’m sure at some point, Amazon will realize people are exploiting their program. But perhaps if we all remain honest samaritans, the parents out there who really need these discounts can continue to reap the benefits. I’ll leave it in your hands, folks.