I am truly terrified for the future of dating. I mean we’ve already got Tinder, Grouper and a range of other horrid dating apps that make it stranger and stranger to toss your hat into the dating ring. So how could it possibly get any worse? Am I right…? NO!
The Dating Ring, a group matchmaking startup that has expanded from New York to San Francisco, has decided that the women of New York City should just GIVE UP on their hopes of settling down with a nice New York man because there aren’t enough to go around. Sorry for the run-on, but are you kidding me?! As a result, the start-up has decided, “HEY! I’ve got a great idea! Let’s just move the women!” The startup is running a Crowdtilt campaign to fly the women of New York City to the men of San Francisco. This is like a horrible Meg Ryan movie.
And yes, this makes total sense. Women are moveable objects, nay moveable pawns, who can be moved around and have no ties to their current single “meaningless” lives. And of course, women are SO desperate to find their future spouse that they would be willing to completely uproot their lives to move somewhere as glamorous as San Francisco. Yeah, you heard me, San Francisco. Notice how I didn’t say Paris or Italy.
This hurts, society. Here I thought our perception of women had come so far. Sure, there’s an occasional “get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” joke here and there, but for the most part there’s been some consistent girl power. However, I think we’ve been set back a number of years with this.
Here’s what The Dating Ring campaign page had to say:
There are tons more single women in NYC, and tons more single men in SF. And, see, the two cities are only separated by a bunch of crappy airports, flight delays, and cheap roundtrip flights.
So, we started joking about doing some cross country matchmaking. And you know what they say – make a joke 12 times and it becomes a Crowdtilt. So, America, let’s make this happen.
I guess I should start making jokes about becoming a billionaire because I’d like that to become a Crowdtilt campaign.
Admittedly, the statistics are true. There are more women in New York City than men, and there are more men in San Francisco than women. OH THE HUMANITY! You didn’t see me changing universities when I realized there were more women than men. Maybe that’s why I’m not married with seven kids.
The company hopes to raise at least $10,000 (attempting $50,000) and if they succeed, they will fly women from New York to San Francisco come Memorial Day weekend.
The company also says they will “re-define the notion of love itself,” which I can only assume means ruin it beyond repair.
On behalf of women everywhere, I say make the men come to you! And like my mother always says, “you can’t rush love.” I’m just kidding, she’s never said that. It’s more like “Leonardo DiCaprio is never going to call you back.” Thanks, mom.
Check out the video below for more on this insane Crowdtilt campaign:
Ugh, what has happened to the world?