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Coolio will release new music through…Pornhub?!

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Like most Internet-dwellers, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT PORNHUB WAS BEFORE TODAY! Is it a car part or something? Okay, have you stopped reading yet, grandmom? I think Matlock is on television now.

Is she gone? Great, let’s talk about porn, er, I mean music. I’m already confusing myself.

Coolio Pornhub

Remember Coolio? He was the guy who did a parody of Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise.” Just kidding. Is this why people hate millennials?

First, let’s set the mood for this post:

Alright, now that we’ve rekindled our respect for the lyrical genius that is Coolio, it’s time to lose all hope in him. Take a deep breath, readers. Ever since his 2013 single “Get Rich”, the rapper has been living under a rock. Or probably enjoying his millions, and trying to create the next epic hairstyle.

But he’s returning with the comeback of the century, and it’s not at all because of the music. His untitled forthcoming studio album will drop this year, and it’s coming (no pun intended) out on Pornhub. Isn’t the 21st century a beautiful thing?

So, how the heck did that happen? Apparently, Pornhub is giving Coolio some models for his video “Take It To The Hub,” in exchange for an exclusive premiere of Coolio’s new tracks. Because isn’t  an aged Coolio what you really want to see and hear when you come to Pornhub? I’ll take your uncomfortable silence as a yes!

There’s already a few sneak peeks of this amazing music video for “Take It To The Hub” and since I’m an awesome person, I’ll link it below.

Yep. That’s a garden hose. When you’re Coolio, you don’t need discrete innuendo.

So, is this the beginning of many strange business ventures for Pornhub? For the sake of amazing music videos like these, I sure hope so.

[Update: According to an interview with Rolling Stone, Coolio has claimed he will not be releasing his new album through Pornhub nor has any intention to release a new album. Although, he said if Pornhub pays him enough, he'll do it. Get it together, Pornhub!]

 

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