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Russia has lost control of a gecko sex satellite in space

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Ground control to Major Tom: There’s lizards doing the dirty in space, and mission control has lost the ability to control it. In my web-perusing, I was lucky enough to come across this news gem. And it’s Friday, so I’m going to write about it. Consider it your Funky Friday Fun Fact.

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In short, there’s a Russian satellite filled with geckos engaging in mating activities, and mission control has lost it. So, just picture a satellite floating around with Barry White music blaring in the background. This is the opportune moment for the sexually-charged male geckos to bust out those over-the-top pick-up lines. Something like, “Girl, are we lost in space? Because your tail is out of this world!” Better than the Space Pants line.

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The Foton-M4 research satellite was launched into space on July 19 with five geckos on board with the objective being to observe mating habits in zero-gravity. There are several plants and insects on board as well. Keep your threesome comments to yourself, reader.

However, the satellite stopped responding to commands after a few orbits. The equipment on board has still been sending scientific data back to earth at least. Bow chicka wow wow.

“The biological experiments started as soon as the satellite was launched,” Institute press secretary Oleg Voloshin told RIA Novosti on Thursday. “The scientific equipment used for the experiments operates properly. We receive the telemetry data from the spacecraft and analyze it. … The current tasks have so far been fulfilled.”

“Specialists of the main mission control group are currently working to establish sustainable contact with the satellite and implement the planned program for the flight,” the Progress company said according to Interfax.

Until then, I guess the geckos will just have to handle the mission on their own.

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[Source: Washington Post]
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  • Jared

    I got a few LOLs out of this, good write Hannah!

  • Tony

    I too chuckle a little bit. On the other hand it is a rather inhumane situation. I wish the article focused a little more on fact: Like what is this experiment for? Boatloads of money go into launching a satellite and whoever’s project this is may be looking at years of preparation wasted because of this malfunction. On the other hand we may net se fun car insurance ads from the endeavor…

  • Bob

    Please don’t embed gifs, it’s so distracting that I could hardly read your article.