Normally, this is my space to step out of the distortion field and ask questions we as bloggers sometimes forget. Things like movie-edition phones Vista advertisements and making fun of Appletell writers. This latest PR from Memorex makes it clear that the crack is flowing freely around corporate America. Just take a gander:
Memorex is going to be reborn. That is word coming out of company HQ in Cerritos, California. Armed with a target consumer and targeted products to meet their needs, Memorex is re-taping their slogan, messing with their logo and in short, are morphing into an electronics powerhouse. Unfortunately for Memorex, they didn’t get the memo they’ve been dead for almost 20 years.
Knowing my predilection toward punching holes through thinly veiled PR-speak press releases, Iyaz, our new editor, got in my face about doing this Special Who’s on Crack Edition. He was spot-on, either the CEO has a son-in-law at a PR firm or they are passing around crack viles like a PR rep passing out jump drives at CES. Let’s start with the easy ones:
“Today Memorex will introduce a new signature, or logo, featuring simplified and solid lowercase letterforms that are friendly and approachable”
JG – Are you kidding me? I don’t get my gas from Mobil because I find their logo “approachable.” The iPod isn’t a success because the logo is cute, it’s because it offered something new(ish), unlike what Memorex will show us in a few more quotes. And don’t even get me started about that “o.”
IA – You know, that would explain why I am terrified of all Sony products. It must be due to their all capital and blocky letters. I mean just thinking about a Sony logo makes me want to cry. Maybe the PR firm is onto something. Maybe we should do away with all these unfriendly capital letters. They scare people.
“The new Memorex signature features a circle icon or “o” as the focal point, representing connections between family and friends.”
JG – Fine, let’s talk about the “o.” This is complete BS, mostly because the marketing folks forgot that the “o” graphic they chose is the symbol for waiting. In fact, this “o” is a reminder of how in 2008 we don’t have flipping flying cars, I don’t eat meals in pill form and my super broadband keeps me waiting for downloads using this graphic. I don’t see “connections” I see wasted time and bits of my life I am never getting back. Let me know how hitching your brand to that train pans out Memorex.
IA – Maybe they over-thought this just a little bit. This isn’t the Ubuntu Linux logo here. This is a bunch of dots making a circle. Maybe it would make more sense for the GorillaPod people to adopt this kind of “o” since it resembles its products. If what the PR firm is saying is right, I will start signing all greeting cards with this circle thing and see how long it takes for people to get that sense of connection.
“Through research, we found that women were largely neglected by current electronics brands.”
JG – Um, hello? They made a white iPhone specifically for women (and my brother Pete, but that is another story). Everyone slaps on a pink cover and says it designed for women. Making a boombox that was “inspired by the elegant silhouette of a purse” is not out of the box thinking folks.
IA – Bad current electronics brands. How could you neglect women? Memorex’s new stuff must cater to women more, right? They are coming out with photo frames and headphones. I’m sure every time a woman saw one of those products before Memorex’s shift they thought, “Oh, that must be a man’s product. I can’t use headphones unless they are marketed to me specifically.”
“Most of all, she expects technology to enhance the connection and experiences that she has with her friends and family.”
JG- Ok, this is your mantra and you bring us: iPod accessories, digital picture frames and a blu-ray player? I want to party with you, cowboy. “And this brings us to the highlight of the Memorex marketing department tour, behold: our crack cocaine silo.”
IA – What? This is an expectation of women? They expect to enhance connections with technology? I’m sure when my wife uses her computer at work she isn’t actually trying to do her job — she’s trying to enhance connections. When she looks at a digital clock she must be doing the same thing.
“These products will enable her to entertain — while bringing others together to share in the fun — and to do so affordably, with a touch of designer style”
JG – Guilt is setting in now, I am feeling bad for Memorex. I should stop. From the quote above, are we talking about the 1950s and women being housewives who focus on entertaining? I’ll say no more.
IA – Will they help her clean the house before her mother-in-law comes in to inspect her cleaning? Yeah, I agree with JG. This screams 1950s nonsense. Did the PR guys even have a woman read this stuff over?
“Another critical tool for reaching the female electronics consumer is the ability to deliver a superior user experience.”
JG – I stole this from Iyaz, “Yes, because men prefer a much less-than-superior user experience. In fact, if men can get any kind of inferior user experience it is that brand that will succeed.”
IA – JG stole that from me. I’ll steal one from me, too. This implies that Memorex was not delivering a superior user experience already. Memorex is basically saying it was producing garbage before and will stop doing that.
“…Memorex has also launched the ‘Memorex Fits Your Life’ campaign”
JG – Found on the PR bullpen floor as runners up: “Memorex fits your left foot”, “Memorex fits in your fat jeans”, “Is it life or is it Memorex?” I am not a huge fan of taglines, but to me this says, “Memorex makes stuff your life doesn’t need.” I don’t think that was the message they were trying to get across.
IA – Sounds more like an insurance company to me. “State Farm Fits Your Life.” With plenty of people trying to be more green, maybe the PR folks just recycled this slogan until someone bit.
“Memorex will introduce dramatic new packaging, merchandising, and in-store presentations that feature vibrant typography set against clean, white spaces to create a new level of sophistication. “
JG – If only their products were “vibrant” and “dramatic” instead of me-too stuff we’ve all but stopped writing about a year ago. Come on Memorex, “vibrant typography?” Who are you trying to impress with that kind of statement? My BS detector is having a coronary.
IA – Kind of sounds like “We’ll just do what Apple does. Nintendo did it with the Wii, right? That will work for us, right?” This also lets us know that Apple (who always zigs when everyone zags) will introduce incredibly busy packaging just to be different.
“The rejuvenated graphic identity reflects the new contemporary look and approach Memorex is taking to position electronics at the heart of a woman’s life.”
JG – I swear to God, Memorex, if my wife comes home and tells me Memorex electronics has become the heart of her life, I am going through her nightstand.
IA – Maybe this is just a hidden message explaining that Memorex is trying to create a line of robo-women or they are also branching out into pacemakers for women.
Summary
It is very easy to kick back and poke fun at Memorex. While we certainly don’t mean to belittle the folks that put pen to paper and spent the cash to make the rebirth happen, we question much. Things like, why are your trying to revive a brand associated with antiquated technology? Why are they making more me-too products? I think the best summation is a woman’s opinion: my wife says, “are they making products for women with bad memories now?” Gold, Jerry, gold.
Memorex’s brand could be simplified down to high quality tapes. This release makes the new Memorex nothing more than iPod accessories aimed at women. Google says you’ve got 7.8 million competitors. I will miss thinking back fondly on Memorex. Thanks a lot new Memorex. Somewhere, somehow Ella Fitzgerald (former Memorex spokeswoman) sheds a tear. If you want to read this masterpiece of nonsense they call a press release, click here.
Memorex’s brand could be simplified down to high quality tapes. This release makes the new Memorex nothing