Wii U Countdown: 10 days, and I don’t know why I want this game

Sections: Action, Columns, Consoles, Features, Genres, Originals, Wii U

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Yesterday I took a look at Mass Effect 3 and considered whether the announcement that it’d be available November 18th meant I’d be changing the first game I pick up with the system (aside from Nintendo Land, of course). I hadn’t yet made that decision, and I still haven’t. One of the games up for consideration is Warriors Orochi 3 Hyper, and I have absolutely no idea why.

Warriors Orochi 3 Hyper

Here’s everything I don’t know about Warriors Orochi 3:

Who the hell anyone is. The game boasts over 130 playable characters, and I don’t know any of them. I guess it’s possible some may be from Samurai Warriors Chronicles, maybe, but I doubt I’ll recognize them. I’ve read that Joan of Arc is a character. I know who Joan of Arc is.

Joan of Arc

Not sure what she’s doing in this game, but she does have a sword and some armor, so I guess that’s a good start.

What the hell a Lu Bu army is. The promo video says I get to fight a Lu Bu army. What is that? I did a search online, and this image appeared.

Lu Bu Army

I don’t want to fight an army of those two people. They seem so in love, and love is so hard to come by these days. Who am I to take love to war?

I would, however, go to war with that guy’s shoulder pad.

How the hell any of this is even possible. Seriously, watch this movie:

Not only is this dude beating these people down like they’re Tea Party candidates in Tuesday’s election, but he’s doing it with a dog or some such thing on his shoulder. The whole thing just doesn’t make a lick of sense.

So, why do I think I want it? Honestly, it’s mainly because I like the way the game looks. I like the design of the characters. And before you tell me that’s the dumbest reason for buying a video game that you’ve ever heard, know that this is why I bought Radiant Dawn for the Wii, and Fire Emblem is now my all time favorite franchise. If I’m going to spend dozens of hours looking at a video game, I want it to be something I like looking at.

But that’s just my reason for considering it. Would anything keep me playing it? Let’s take a look:

Cooperative multiplayer. This very much looks like the type of game that’ll be more fun to play with my kids and friends, and that generally goes over better when we can work together. With one of us on the TV and the other on the Game Pad, we won’t have to mess around with split screens.

Story mode. I don’t care if this game’s all about combat, I want a story. Maybe it’s the English major in me, or maybe it’s the romantic in me. Don’t care to find out. I just know I’m much more likely to get through a game like this if there’s a story to tie everything together and propel me forward. Even better, the relationships the characters developed during the course of the game can influence the story and unlock extra attacks and stages. I’ll take that over two people just swinging giant swords at a each other for no reason…which we’ll also get in Duel Mode.

Is that it? Two reasons doesn’t seem enough to drop $60 on a game, but until someone gives me three, Warriors Orochi Hyper 3 is where I’m looking.

Read all entries in the Wii U Countdown.

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  • Dominic Leighton

    The ‘Warriors’ games are generally mindless but immense fun. The Dynasty Warriors series is grounded in some version of historical fact, but as this is a mash up between that and the Samurai Warriors franchise, with other random characters like Ryu from Ninja Gaiden/Dead or Alive and Joan Of Arc I’m fairly certain the story is completely mental!

    It’s definitely worth checking out at launch though, and if you’re getting Mass Effect 3 too you’ll be getting an in depth game anyway! I’m enjoying your countdown despite the fact I’m in the UK and have to wait longer for my Wii U!

    • Kirk Hiner

      Thank you, Dominic.

      I do enjoy a “completely mental” story, so that’s another element in its favor. We’ll see how I feel about it next weekend. Sorry you have to wait longer for your system, but maybe there’ll be more titles ready than the 24 we’re getting on the 18th.

  • winterborn

    omg that Bu Lu in love guy needs a hair cut. If you do buy it, at least chop his hair off and do us all a favor, k?