You’re going to see a lot of lists over the next few weeks. “People you know will want these games!” “The best games of 2012!” “We can’t wait to play these in 2013!” It’ll be exhausting, seeing all these lists of games you should want to buy, play or anticipate. So we’re switching things here. Before we launch into our lists, we’re going to share some games you shouldn’t play. Yes, we’re looking at the 10 worst games of 2012.
Ironically, this list was actually pretty difficult to compile. As I looked through the games my friends and I had experienced through 2012, I was pleased to see that it was a pretty great year. I mean, it was still really easy to group together the 10 worst games of 2012, but this year the good outweighed the bad.
10: Fable: The Journey (Xbox 360)
Fable: The Journey looks pretty and is funny, which is great, but suffers because it is an on-rails game with terribly demanding motion control. If your moves aren’t exact, the Kinect won’t interpret them properly and your magic spells won’t go where you want. This means you’ll miss hitting enemies, have trouble triggering puzzle switches and eventually get so frustrated that you’ll either start flailing in the hopes one spell does go where it’s supposed to, or quit and go through the calibration process again in the hopes that this time it’ll work right.
9: Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock (PS3, PS Vita, PC)
I love Doctor Who and when I heard about Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock I was cautiously optimistic. I know there have really been no good Doctor Who games, but I hoped. I was wrong. Doctor Who: The Eternity Clock is a hot mess. The voice acting, from Matt Smith and Alex Kingston, is the only good thing about this uneven game that has ridiculous puzzles and tasks players with spending about four or five hours constantly hiding. Not to mention it’s buggy – after failing the Cyberman challenge where the Cybermen come up train tracks and you must electrocute them twice, the third time no Cybermen showed up and I just had to wait until time ran out to win.
8: Blades of Time (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
I feel bad for Blades of Time. Not bad enough to spare it from its place on this list, but still. Part of its trouble is that Konami didn’t invest anything in marketing in it or really seem to take any interest in the action game at all. The idea of using time manipulation to play is interesting, but controls are clunky and unresponsive at times. The story is nonexistant with little resolution. There’s also no replay value since the cooperative and competitive multiplayer is pointless.
7: Disney Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two (PS3, Wii, Xbox 360)
Okay Junction Point Studios, we told you the camera in Disney Epic Mickey was terrible. We wanted you to take more risks. What do you do for the sequel? Keep the same, terrible camera and give us a game that can only be beaten if you rely on an AI-controlled partner that’s worse than an idiot or badger a friend into playing with you. Don’t even bother buying it if you don’t have someone willing to come over and play, because that camera and that AI partner will keep you from beating the game.
6: Game of Thrones (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)
I wanted to like Game of Thrones, because I love the books. I couldn’t. Though you had choices, they didn’t carry much weight, there are lots of bugs and glitches, the combat system is so tedious and it just looks terrible. The characters are interesting, I’ll give them that, but everything surrounding them isn’t very good. Grab a copy of the book instead – it’s cheaper and you’ll love it.
5: Spirit Camera: The Cursed Memoir (3DS)
This one really hurts, because I love Fatal Frame. I knew this spin-off would suck, but I just didn’t think it would be this bad. The main game involves using an included book with an AR mode to solve puzzles and hunt ghosts. It doesn’t work. You will never have enough light and a flat enough page unless you take the game outside, rip the book apart and play. Since this is a horror game, that totally kills the mood. You should have given us Fatal Frame IV (Wii) instead Nintendo!
4: Funky Barn (Wii U)
I pity the poor child who gets all excited about finding a Wii U under the tree at Christmas this year, then learns the only game his or her parent bought for it was Funky Barn. We should really have a charity fund to buy those kids Harvest Moon: Animal Parade (Wii) or something, because no one should be forced to manage this pitiful farm. Banish Funky Barn to the cornfield! (Bonus points for you if you caught that “It’s a Good Life” reference!)
3: Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified (PS Vita)
For many people, the lack of a zombie mode alone may be one reason to avoid Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified, but there are far better reasons to hate it. The single player mode is short and boring with stupid enemies and no way to save in the middle of a mission. Even the multiplayer can’t save it though, because the maps are terribly small and it’s plagued with bugs and glitches. Take this game out back and shoot it.
2: Thundercats (DS)
Instead of making a good 2D, side-scrolling Thundercats game, Aspect and Namco Bandai brought us a game that was pure tripe. You can only play as Lion-O, the game is incredibly short, there’s no challenge, the enemies all look the same and good luck trying to follow the plot. It’s just plain terrible.
1: Angry Birds Trilogy (3DS, PS3, Xbox 360)
$29.99 and $39.99 for three games you can get on your iOS or Android device for free. Do I really need to say anything more?