2013 is here and it’s time for those all important New Year’s resolutions that we totally intend on keeping but most likely won’t. Everyone has something they would like to do differently or change about themselves, even video game characters!
If video game characters were real, I think they would have a lot they would want to change, but since they aren’t real, I have to make it up for them. So here are my ideas of some New Years resolutions that famous video game characters would make.
Kirby (Kirby Dreamland) – Seek some help for my odd eating disorder.
Mario (Super Mario Bros)– Let Luigi save the Mushroom Kingdom once in awhile.
King of Cosmos (Katamari Damacy)– Take more responsibility for our actions.
Sephiroth (FF7)– See a therapist about my “mommy” issues.
Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog)– Catch up on those spinning classes at the gym.
Nathan Drake (Uncharted)– Take some time off from all this adventuring and relic finding and go to Disney World.
Sackboy (Little Big Planet)– Finally decide on a clothing style that suits me!
Qbert– ?!@#$!* (*trasnslation* “stop using such foul language!”)
Kratos (God of War)– Sit down and talk to the Gods and finally work out all our differences, those that I haven’t killed yet that is.
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)– Share with others the fine art of skulking around in boxes and aging well!
Bowser (Super Mario Bros.)– Try to fall in love with a woman of my own species.
Big Daddy (Bioshock)– Make Big Momma babysit more often!
Link (Legend of Zelda) – Make a fortune selling all these awesome weapons and artifacts i got over the years on ebay!
Resetti (Animal Crossing) – LET THE DARN KID WHO SHUTS OFF THE SYSTEM WITHOUT SAVING LOSE ALL HIS PROGRESS!! WHAT DO I CARE??
Princess Peach (Mario Bros.) – Attend more “victims of multiple kidnappings and traumatic experiences” sessions with Zelda.
Zelda (Legend of Zelda) – Attend more “victims of multiple kidnappings and traumatic experiences” sessions with Peach.
Pikachu (Pokemon) – Pikachu! Pikachu! Pi-ka-chuuu!* (*translation* — sorry i have no idea what he’s saying either!)
Mog (Final Fantasy) – Finally get around to formulating that plot to rule the world! Right after i take my Chocobo to the vet that is.
Miles Edgeworth (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney) – try to smile at least once a week, ok once a month…baby steps Miles…babysteps.
Chell (Portal)– Get some of that damn cake!