I have a confession. I watched the MTV’s 2013 Video Music Awards. Technically, I was sporatically checking in, hoping to catch the N’Sync reunion, but I was watching and did happen upon the spectacle that was Miley Cyrus’ performance. My first reaction to that “event” was disgust, because really. Then came the second-hand-shame, because that performance was so bad, it was contagious. However, the gamer in me won out and all I could think was, “If this were a game, we would have just hit a bad end.”
Which got me thinking. I absolutely love Idolmaster and Princess Maker games, and Miley Cyrus’ life would make the perfect simulation game. Think about it. Players begin as Miley’s manager when she’s, say, 7. You know, get her before the Disney years.
The first few years of this imaginary Miley Cyrus video game, let’s call it That’s My Miley, would proceed like Princess Maker. Players would have to send her to various classes, decide if and when she gets time off, and also set up some kind of work schedule. The only money you make will be the money Miley brings in, so you have to ride the fame train. The real one didn’t have a chance, so no normal childhood for virtual Miley either.
At the 16 year mark, the game shifts to more of an Idolmaster game. The only classes virtual Miley could take would be ones that directly influence her performances. So, let’s say, voice lessons, dance lessons and something dealing with handling fame. Players also act more as a manager during this portion of the game, setting up interviews, press events and performances.
Then, when virtual Miley Cyrus hits 20, the game ends with a MTV 2013 VMA performance. I’d envision there being at least 7 possible endings, depending on how players “raised” their pop star. Miley Cyrus’ real VMA 2013 performance would, naturally, be a “bad end.” Not the “worst end,” mind you, because as bad as it was, it could really have been worse, but still. Do a bad job in this game I’m imagining, and you’d see this. If you’re under 16 or at work, look away, because this is a travesty and probably NSFW. (Unfortunately, MTV set this video to auto-play.)
The cincher would be a little splash image after the “performance,” telling what Miley’s life was like for the next 10-30 years, due to the player’s influence.
I’m telling you. We need more life sim games out there, and one that tasks players with managing Miley would be pure gold.