I hate this Slowpoke Paradise Fishing game’s music

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pokemon slowpokeI’ve had it with Slowpokes. I take back what I said Mega Slowbro being the best. Because clearly, too much Slowpoke love has led Nintendo to creating unspeakable things. Like this strange reggae Slowpoke song.

That, my friends, is just creepy. It was created to promote this new, Japanese, Slowpoke Paradise Fishing game online. Which is technically Yadon Paradise Fishing. but whatever.

The point is, this Slowpoke game is pretty much as bad as the song. I played it so you don’t have to, but if you do decide to dive in as well, mute the sound. You’ll thank me.

In Slowpoke Paradise Fishing, players direct a Slowpoke and help it fish in the pond using its tail. Don’t let the Japanese text throw you. Just click somewhere above the pond to move the Slowpoke, click the Slowpoke itself to make it dip its tail in, and the fishing begins. Shadowy figures will appear, but don’t click just yet. Wait until one starts nibbling the tail, then click when water splashes appear.

That’s when the “fight” begins. You’ll see the Slowpoke’s portrait with a ring around it that fills toward success. I’ve found the best way to win is to click the portrait until he gets upset, wait until he’s happy again, then keep clicking. I managed to catch a Psyduck and Stunfisk that way, so clearly my methods work.

So there you go – celebrate getting back to school by becoming obsessed with a free, Pokemon browser game starring a creepy, fishing Slowpoke.

Site [Pokemon \(Japanese)]

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