My name is Brian and I’m addicted to achievement points

I can’t deny it any longer.

I have all the telltale signs.

I have Avatar: The Last Airbender on my Gamefly queue.

I’m working on mathematical equations as to how to kill 53,000 zombies on Dead Rising and 53,000 infected on Prototype.

For Mario’s sake, stop making that an achievement. You taunt us addicts and completionists. I’m not doing that one anymore, especially not for 30 gamer points.

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that are oh-so satisfying. I don’t even know why that little “plink” noise and the words “Achievement Unlocked!” make my heart sing, I just know that they do. High scores have been around as long as gaming has but Microsoft has come up with a unique way to put them front and center.

Technically, these aren’t even all high scores. Some of them are low moments. Madden NFL 10 has one for throwing the ball away on fourth down titled “Well Played, Really.” 50 Cent: Blood on The Sand offers one for getting killed on Easy level called “Not Bulletproof.” If you need any proof of the success of Xbox Achievements, look at how quickly Sony adopted its own version with Trophies. Other companies don’t borrow concepts that don’t work right. One of the first things I do when a game I’m interested in buying comes out, even before checking reviews, is seeing what the achievements are and how easy or difficult they are to get.

The question comes up and is valid: “What have you earned here, B?”

In the grand scheme of things, nothing tangible.

I can’t spend these points to buy a shiny new pony or anything. But the same applies to when I beat any game or accomplish any in-game task. Perhaps, as a writer, what I really enjoy is the running chronicle of my game triumphs, tragedies and yes, even games I shudder to remember playing.

Achievements add replay value to the great games and give you a reason of some kind to play the horrible ones. Part of the fun among us “achievement point whores” is finding ways to trick the system. Not only are there achievements that aren’t disabled by cheats, there are games where entering a cheat code unlocks an achievement.

Naysayers complain that achievements are ruining gaming. Much of this hubbub comes from the new custom of “boosting” where gamers get together and play exclusively to get achievements that would be nearly impossible solo. I fail to see how gamers reaching out to each other and working together in admittedly unorthodox ways is a bad thing.

And I would tell anyone that the number one rule of achievement point whoring is that if it’s becoming work, just stop. The points really are supposed to be for fun. If tomorrow they told me that Bioshock 2 or Modern Warfare 2 was having all of its achievement points removed, I would still be looking forward to playing both those games. If you’re turning your nose up at a potential Game of the Year because it has online achievements you’ll never get, you are taking them way too seriously.

There’s a support group for that, too. Meet us on Xbox Live tonight but not too early, we’re boosting Gears of War.

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