Last night I saw an advanced screening of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and it was… as usual I cannot actually review it until it hits theaters on May 28, 2010.
So, instead, here’s a slightly enigmatic, purposefully partially vague yet point-on bullet-point preview of Sands of Time directed by Mike Newell and starring Jake Gyllenhaal (as Dastan, aka The Prince), Gemma Arterton (Tamina, aka The Princess), Ben Kingsley (Nizam) and Alfred Molina (Sheik Amar).
- Free preview and the theater was not packed.
- The unnamed Prince is named Dastan (or was that “Dastany?”).
- THE Prince? Nope, one of three.
- The “sands of time” are real.
- Who do you think shows more chest: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton or Ben Kingsley? (Note: There’s no nudity).
- Hey look, it’s Ghandi! Hey, whaitaminute…
- Enemies become friends.
- Friends become enemies.
- When was Persia invaded by England?
- I thought this was based on Prince of Persia, not Assassin’s Creed?
- Or is that Hassansin’s Creed?
- (With shades of Disney’s Aladdin.)
- If not based on a video game, a video game would have to be based on this. (May I suggest Hassansin’s Creed?)
- A lot of ledge leaping, pole flipping and wall jumping. No button pressing required.
- Populace transformed into “ferocious demons?” Nope. (See, even IMDB can be wrong).
- So if you use the Dagger of Time and then go back in time, shouldn’t it be…
- Lots and lots of sand. Sand within sand.
- Lots and lots of death. Nearly no blood.
- Love story? Sorta.
- Action movie? Yes.
- Was that a flashback or the story moving forward?
- What do you do when wearing a white dress? Jump in water, of course (desert be damned!).
- Beware the mighty sand storm! Or chill in a time in the middle of one. (!?)
- “Ben Kingsley?” “No, Butiwannabe.”
And don’t be surprised if I add to this list as I recall more of the movie. Look for a review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time this Friday (May 28, 2010) on Gamertell.