According to the latest inclusion in Nintendo’s Personal Trainer “game” series, I am not a fat, lazy slob. Instead, I am as active as a Daytime Deer and, some days, an Evening Owl.

Thank you, Personal Trainer: Walking. You make me feel thin…

It turns out that all the way back in 1987, a game for the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) was tricking its unsuspecting users into exercise routines. Bandai’s Dance Aerobics is the spiritual predecessor to Nintendo’s Wii Fit and natural movement.

The game features a few modes of following an instructor’s robotic stomping pattern that you repeat on a Power Pad accessory…