The creators of John Dies at the End seem not only to want to spoil the ending of their movie, but also reveal the terrible untimely demise that has allegedly befallen the film’s online pirates. They claim they’ve heard of totally terrible things happening to them, and who am I to doubt? To help people who can’t seem to get in their cars and go to a movie theater, Magnolia films has graciously put the film up on major VOD and download services for legal, legit viewing at a few dollars under a ticket at (at least my) local multiplex. For between 10 (SD) and 12 (HDX) dollars on Vudu, or $9.99 for a 48-hour rental on Amazon Instant Video, you can watch the movie in your format of choice, and avoid any horrible disfigurement or other fates worse than an unending My Little Pony marathon.
If you want to get a taste of the horrible disfigurement headed your way if you were to pirate the film, though, keep watching below.