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Best/Worst PR Pitch Ever!

Sections: Analog, Audio, Digital

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A friend forwarded an e-mail to me earlier today that was just too full of awesome not to share.

An email that caused audio/video journalist extraordinaire, Brent Butterworth, to say, “I’ve seen a lot of really bad unsolicited articles in my time, but this rises to a new level of bad.”

Here was the sender’s pitch:

I know you’re a busy person, so I’ll keep this brief.

I have an article that I wanted to run by you and see if you’d be interested in accepting it as a guest post.

It’s “high end audio ” I think it would work perfect for your blog. Attached is the article.

Hope all is well, and hope to hear from you soon.

Ironically, the post has almost nothing to do with “high end audio” but, good news! It IS perfect as a Guest Post for my blog!

Please to enjoy! (Original text in bold, my comments in non bold italic. Also, this was the graphic included in the post.)

 

(Setting the stage for this story is this image, which is the Nordost Odin Supreme Reference Interconnect. According to Nordost, this “uses eight of our revolutionary Total Signal Control (TSC) tubes — each carrying a 23 AWG Dual Mono-Filament conductor with 85 microns of extruded silver over 99.99999% oxygen free copper. The eight conductors are precisely wound in a spiral pattern around a central spacer, which contains two extruded silver over OFC drain wires to create a cable of unprecedented consistency and geometrical precision, perfect shielding yet manageable flexibility.” They also sell for the smooth price of $15,999 per meter pair of interconnects and $28,999 for an eight-foot pair or speaker wires. Please don’t anyone tell Mr. Cooper about them…)

Facts of Analog and Digital Interconnections

What gadgets need?

First, “What gadgets need” sounds like a statement, not a question. Like “[This is] What gadgets need!” or maybe it was supposed to be “What do gadgets need?” Something. Second, “gadget” is a terrible term to use here. Especially after opening with an image of a $16,000 pair of interconnect cables. In fact, a gadget is defined as “ a small tool such as a machine that has a particular function, but is often thought of as a novelty. Gadgets are sometimes referred to as gizmos.” Gadgets almost never need interconnect cables. A better title would have been “What audio/video components need”.

Our world of entertainment depends on electrical gadgets, whereas they depend on interconnectivity cables to fulfil their purpose. Technology is improved a lot to serve us the best. But we have our credentials– Sometimes we go by our budgets and sometimes by features the industry offer.

Umm… My “world of entertainment” often focuses around my iPhone and iPad and it doesn’t depend on a damn thing (exceptin’ the Interweb) to fulfill its purpose. Especially not some interconnectivity. Also, “technology is improved a lot to serve us the best”? This reminds me of (the totally awesome!) dialog from the Simpson’s Mr. Sparkle ad. “I’m disrespectful to dirt! Can you see I am serious! Get out of my way, all of you! This is no place for loafers. Join me or die. Can you do any less? For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle!” I’m also not sure what having credentials has to do with anything.

In transmitting signals we need the interconnection, two different formats available in the market. One is Analog and other one is known as Digital, as the name implies, the later tells that it’s new’’ and must be with many added features.

Well, duh. It’s digital so it MUST be new and with many added features. Duh. I’m also assuming that wireless is a transmission method, but I don’t want to get bogged down in semantics.

Digital mode is the better form of Analog, as it first receives the signal and then converts it to the pulses of 01 and 02.

That POP! you heard was the sound of a million vinyl lovers out there all having a simultaneous collective analog-superiority-complex aneurysm. Finally it has been put to bed for once and all. Digital mode IS the better form of Analog. Suck it, suckers! Also I finally realize why all of the audio systems I’ve ever owned have all sounded like total rubbish. My digital signals have been converting incorrectly to 0s and 1s all this time! If only I’d used the 01 and 02 pulses my system would have the many added features!

[And that’s just the beginning! Click here to continue reading about the Best/Worst PR pitch ever.]

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