Remember the Iraqi Information Minister? He was that guy we used to watch on TV during the first Desert Storm who would make such awesome declarations about how the Iraqi army was doing. With jets streaking overhead, bridges blowing up, tanks being obliterated and US troops holding hands and hopscotching into Baghdad, good ole Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf kept a stern face and proclaimed such awesomeness as, “I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that [American troops] have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly,” and, “I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad.”
This was a PR man that stuck by his guns and knew how to stay on point even in the face of overwhelming facts to the contrary. This is a guy that could have easily told a million Gizmodo readers that Windows Millennium Edition was the best operating system ever. He would have stood before the Apple masses and proclaimed Maps the single greatest app ever created. The X-Box Red Ring of death? A powerful feature that would make other gaming systems cower before its awesome, unholy might!
While many have suspected that he was writing PR for Bose for years – his Wave Radio ads were truly some of his best work – I actually know where he ended up after leaving his post in Iraq. He has clearly been hired to head up the PR for Italian “smart” watch (those quotes are applied dripping in cynical sarcasm) manufacturer, i’m Watch!
The thing about i’m Watch is that you desperately want to love it. If it worked even halfway like promised, it would be awesome. It is big – like dwarfing-my-already-large-Rolex-diving-watch big – but it is kinda cool looking in a techie, my-giant-watch-totally-isn’t-compensating-for-anything kind of way.
The i’m Watch’s strap is a thick rubber available in different colors that looks like it would be at home on a Panerai diving watch (an Italian watch design that totally rocks, by the way), but the large hole in the side of the watch where you charge it makes it not in the least bit weather resistant. I’m sure even a brutal humidity would give i’m Watch i’m Fits.
However, as much as you want to love the i’m Watch – and believe me, you will want to –it is unfortunately, it is as one reviewer eloquently put, “A $400 brick of failure that straps to your wrist.”